Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear (Ephesians 4:29, NASB1995).
Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling better about yourself? Do others feel better from talking with you?
The Apostle Paul writes in Ephesians 4:29 that we are to give grace to those who hear us. Grace is a gift, and when gifts are given, both the giver and the recipient experience joy.
Are your words gifts that edify the other person?
I’ve been trying to improve my conversation, determinedly, for about five years. Too often, my words are about myself, express frustration or even anger, and my interest in a conversation increases when it turns to the faults of others.
What have I learned through five years of trying to be a “grace giver” with my words? Well, I’ve found that I need lots of grace to attempt such a thing!
What has helped me?
I use the EGR principle or Extra Grace Required rule.
As I start my day, I ask God to help my conversations during the day to Encourage, give a Gift, and bring Revelation.
An example: I took my three grandsons to a place called Young’s Jersey Dairy recently. If you don’t know anything about Young’s, it’s about food, batting cages, putt-putt golf, and ice cream.
And exactly in that order for my grandsons – we had lunch, went to the batting cages, then putt-putt golf, and ate ice cream to celebrate a great day.
When my three grandsons are together, they laugh, argue, get mad, laugh, argue, and get mad . . . over and over. It’s lots of fun for me, especially when I practice the Extra Grace Required principle.
I told my oldest grandson that I appreciated his ability to talk with me about serious “adult-like” topics. He smiled and said, “Thank you!”
Check – Encourage.
My youngest grandson makes new rules when playing putt-putt when his score is too high. I said that if he took a “do-over,” everyone else got one too, and he looked at me and said, “I had a good idea, didn’t I?” I replied, “Yes, you often have great ideas!”
But noted that he’s wily enough to turn his mistakes into advantages.
Check – Gift of grace! (And watch out, world, when he gets older.)
My middle grandson tends to be laid back.
I like to challenge him!
At the end of the day, when it was time to celebrate the batting cage and putt-putt victories, he wanted the largest ice cream creation known in history. At Young’s, they call it an Ice Cream Sundae. I told him that he would have to pay for it if he couldn’t eat all of it. He smiled and then ate the entire Ice Cream Sundae.
When finished, he looked at me and said, “I can do the things that I want to do!”
Check – Revelation about confidence.
That’s my EGR method of Encourage, Gift, and Revelation that takes EGR or Extra Grace Required!
When we, by God’s grace, speak uplifting comments that encourage, bring blessing, and allow others to see themselves in a positive framework, our conversations will be as the Apostle says, “Bringing edification according to the need of the moment.”
EGR!