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In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth (Genesis 1:1, ESV).
Long before the first clock started ticking — mostly because the concept of “time” hadn’t been invented yet — the celestial breakroom was buzzing with a rather ridiculous rumor. The Boss was supposedly working on an ambitious new startup project.
He was calling it “The Physical Universe.”
Archangel Gabriel, always the one with the inside scoop, leaned against a pillar of pure, unadulterated golden crystal and said, “I’m telling you, Michael, it’s going to be made of ‘matter.’ It’s going to have ‘mass.’ It’s this stuff you can’t fly through. You actually bump into it.”
Michael, polishing his flaming sword, rolled his eyes. “Gabriel, you’re gullible. How can something exist if it’s not spiritual? If I can’t perceive it with my ethereal consciousness, it’s just a myth. It’s logically impossible. Think about it: a realm where beings are trapped inside dense, biological meat-suits, bound to the ground by something called ‘gravity’? Sounds like a badly written tragedy.”
“I’m serious,” Gabriel insisted, adjusting his halo. “There’s going to be something called ‘space,’ and even weirder, ‘time.’ They’re going to experience things sequentially instead of all at once. Like, they’ll have to actually wait for things to happen.”
“Preposterous,” Michael scoffed. “Next, you’ll tell me they won’t even believe we exist.”
A wonderfully ironic debate between the Archangels Michael and Gabriel. However, after a few millennia into this invented time, brilliant human skeptics confidently declare exactly what Michael predicts.
Evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins insists, “The universe we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil, no good, nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.” Karl Marx famously dismissed the spiritual realm entirely, calling religion the “opiate of the masses.” Both Richard and Karl, and many others, are convinced that only the material world exists because only the universe can be measured.
Little did they know, perhaps the highest angels of heaven had once used the exact same empirical logic to prove that humans couldn’t possibly exist.
“I just don’t buy it,” Michael continued. “If this ‘physical’ world exists, show it to me. Where is it? Until I see a ‘quark’ or a ‘hippopotamus’ with my own spiritual intuition, I refuse to believe in fairy tales. It’s just the Boss’s theoretical thought experiment.”
Before Gabriel could debate the ontological necessity of carbon, the ambient glow of Heaven suddenly dimmed. A profound, vibrating hum echoed through the eternal corridors.
Then, the Boss spoke.
And BOOM!
It wasn’t just a bang; it was a blinding, deafening, hyper-expansive explosion of sheer, unfathomable reality. In a fraction of a microsecond, an ocean of superheated plasma erupted into existence, rapidly cooling into swirling nebulas, burning stars, and billions of spinning galaxies. The sheer weight and density of it all rippled into the spiritual realm.
Heaven fell dead silent.
Michael dropped his flaming sword. Gabriel’s jaw hit the metaphysical floor. Billions of angels crowded the balconies of eternity, staring down in completely stunned, wide-eyed amazement at the swirling majesty of the cosmos.
“By His Grace…” Michael whispered, staring at a particularly vibrant quasar. “It’s… It’s actually real. Look at all that… stuff.”
Then Jesus stepped forward to the edge of Heaven’s Throne Room, looked out over the glittering, expanding expanse of the universe, flashed a brilliant smile, and said …
Alright, now the real work begins!
