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Let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near (Hebrews 10:25, NLT).
As a pastor of one church for 49 years, I heard the statement, “I’m leaving the church,” hundreds of times.
Honestly, I liked “I’m joining the church” much better!
Theologically, when a Christian left the church, they were leaving Fellowship (the church that I pastored) but were still members of the church built upon Jesus — the one that the gates of Hades* (Matthew 16:18) cannot stand against.
Honestly, sometimes I was glad to hear, “I’m leaving the church [local].” I remember one contentious man named Thomas (not his real name) who had a kind wife named Cynthia (not her real name). One Sunday while I was standing in the foyer with another staff member, Thomas huffed up to us saying, “We are leaving the church.”
After they walked out the door, I turned to the staff member, and he said, “I will miss Cynthia!”
My view as a pastor was that a Christian’s commitment to a local church isn’t the same as the marriage covenant. It’s okay to leave a local church for a good reason, but perhaps there isn’t a good reason to leave a marriage**. Church membership can be for a few years, while marriage is for a lifetime.
Members left the church I pastored for jobs in different cities. They cited several reasons, including anger at the youth pastor, a lack of coherence with our worship style, a desire to serve elsewhere, and a dislike of my vision for the church, among others.
Being honest again, all the reasons listed in the previous paragraph could be good or bad. Good if the decision was thought through with prayer, and bad if it was a cover-up for bitterness, pride, control, or selfish ambition.
With all who left, I prayed to God, “Let me bless those who have a calling elsewhere, and let me forget the wrong and often accusing attitudes of those who left mad.” With many who left, even for negative reasons, I’m still friendly when I see them at a restaurant, and some eventually returned to Fellowship.
I appreciated it when someone had the courage to speak with me before leaving.
A local church should never have guilt-attendance or people coming from fear of offending the pastor or other church members. I’ve known pastors who were so controlling, they’d get mad if someone left for a new city for a better job.
Churches should release members to their calling and ministry regardless of where it is.
Too many leave a church and never go back, claiming, “I still love Jesus and am a member of the church [not local].” This is true. But I keep going to church, not to use my spiritual gifts or even ministry opportunities, but to worship with other believers and hear the Word of God preached. There’s blessing in worshipping and listening to God’s Word together.
And Tom and Cynthia, after leaving the church that Sunday, landed in another church and to this day are doing well.
*The correct Greek word in Matthew 16:18 is “hades,” though many translations use “hell.”
**There are Biblical reasons to dissolve a marriage, that’s why I said “perhaps there isn’t a reason” as many excuses for a divorce aren’t Biblical. But walk in God’s grace now, no matter past mistakes.