My Wife and I — Aging Well Together!

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Love puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end (1 Corinthians 13:7, MSG).

I just heard of a famous couple filing for divorce after 19 years of marriage. Talking to my wife about it, she said, “It’s just sad.” I agree.

I have officiated over 100 weddings. (Humorous story: During a conversation at a wedding reception with another couple that we had just met, with Barbara standing next to me, I told the couple, “I’ve married over 100 women.” HHHHMMMHHM — which my wife quickly corrected to, “You’ve officiated their weddings!”)

With all the weddings that I’ve “officiated,” none of them were thinking of a time after that special day when they would divorce. I didn’t list in my pre-marital counseling manual a topic that read, “What to do when you divorce.” All these marriages, standing at the altar on the day of their nuptials, were believing …

Love puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end (1 Corinthians 13:7).

However, two of the couples that I “officiated” divorced within the week. Recently, I was discussing officiating weddings with another pastor, and he mentioned that a couple he had married didn’t last a day! With this marital mayhem in mind, I’ve been considering, especially after our recent bucket list trip to London, why Barbara and I get along so well.

Last July 9, we celebrated our 48^th anniversary! What’s kept our marriage growing? Let me share what I consider the two most important elements of aging well in a relationship.

We’ve developed a “steady state” despite our differences.

The motto of opposites attract applies to our marriage. I’m Mr. Excitable, and she’s Mrs. Calm. I keep learning to listen to her, and she is patient with me. Recently, while pulling our luggage to our rented apartment in London, I said, “It’s this direction.” She said, “My Google® map says it’s right here.” I took off walking in the direction that I thought we should go, and 30 minutes later, we stood exactly where her Google map had indicated.  

She just smiled, and no repercussions for the next day or two.

We allow each other to have divergent interests.

I once had a woman, during a counseling session, say, “I want my husband to look at me and be with me at all times.” I thought, but didn’t say, “Gag a maggot!” Last year, I received a note from her saying they were still happily married — probably because of my intuitive and perceptive counseling.

Not really. I knew the reason when she said, “We love enjoying what the other person enjoys.” Please remember this bold statement as a key strategic approach to aging well together. 

My wife paints, she plays Pokémon, she watches the TV show “Outlander,” she likes cats, and she has friends from junior high, senior high, college, and many who attended Fellowship Church years ago. 

I enjoy OSU football (especially this year), riding my bike, working with innovative ideas (which often gets me in trouble), I don’t like cats, and I would rather ride my bike and sit in front of my computer than have lengthy conversations.

I pray that you age well with your spouse. Learn to enjoy what the other person enjoys and take a trip to London!

The “aging well” couple in front of Buckingham Palace!