Spending Time with People

Speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you’re already doing this; just keep on doing it (1 Thessalonians 5:9-11, MSG).

As a pastor, I’ve spent a lot of time with people. In the past, I was Panera™’s best customer with back-to-back-to-back-to-back morning coffee meetings day after day.

Of course, I couldn’t keep up with the number of meetings or drink that much coffee! 

I needed to learn to prioritize. My heart often said “yes,” but my schedule said “no.” Too often, I would adjust my schedule at the expense of family, devotions, and needed study for my sermons.

Guilt meetings had to stop. I developed a system for saying yes and no, allowing me to trust the Lord, that when an unavoidable interruption occurred, I would know that He would bless my next sermon, because I had to officiate that memorial service.

I call it the “N E X T” system — for Necessary, Essential, X-factor, and Too much. Let me explain. . .  

Necessary:  Family, close, and life-committed friends. I will always (as soon as possible) return their text or phone call. My wife rarely calls me at work (nor do my children), so if they do, it’s important. I have a short list of close friends (about ten) who initiate time with me and I with them. Finally, a few life-committed friends — perhaps I haven’t talked to them in a while, but if they call, I’m answering.

Make the necessary people top priority!

Essential: People we work with, those helping with our ministries, leaders in the church, and those essential for tasks at hand. Leadership shines by organizing essential people and giving them the time needed for our tasks performed together.  

Building teams, identifying future leaders, seeing potential in others, and even valuing meetings with people we dislike, but must work with for God’s purposes. Make these essential people a top priority — only interrupting a meeting or rescheduling with them because our “Necessary” people need us.

X-Factor:  I don’t know who these people will be in advance. A tight priority list, demanding us to say no too many times, can cause us to miss God-moments. I ask God during chance encounters, “What do You want me to do?” Often, He says, “Give them your undivided attention for a few minutes.” And when I obey, I’m blessed.

Too Much:  Sometimes it’s too much. This can even occur with the Necessaries, Essentials, and X-factors. The godly art of people management learns to say no without guilt, creatively re-scheduling, having a short five- or ten-minute chat (keep to the limits), but sensing “time” bombs or requests that blow up a schedule.

This is my N E X T method of dealing with people. I hope that it helps.

One final note: Because we are commanded to love others, we won’t be able to control our schedule completely and shouldn’t try to. 

Keep in step with the Spirit. He will guide you!