My Wife’s Cat and Social Distancing

The self-quarantine impacts us all.  Sometimes in disturbing ways.

I usually write in the morning about hope, second coming, spiritual health, and how long my hair is at the moment.

My topic today is my wife’s cat and social distancing! I know that this topic will be more controversial than Donald Trump, but I’m tough, I can handle the criticism.

Now is the time to bow your head and pray for me!

In normal times, I’m out and about socializing; the self-distancing has been difficult for me.  My wife’s cat has a lived a life of 9 years practicing social distancing. Anya (that’s her name and totally white furred), just yawns when I walk by in the morning and that’s the end of her daily socialization.

During quarantine, I’m alone in my office for endless hours and not socializing. My wife’s cat has decided to start socializing — with me.  According to Anya, I’m now her best friend. My wife says, “She has chosen you to be her person.”

Now is another time to bow your head and pray for me!

I pride myself on having important items on my ‘to do’ list.  So I’ve been journaling Anya’s behavior.

  • She sits by the kitchen door and meows forever. I finally open the door. She stares at the door for about a minute and then walks out.
  • She sits by the kitchen faucet and meows for hours. (Yes I tested this yesterday, as I left her there meowing by the faucet and went to Kroger.) She was still meowing when I came home, so I turned the faucet on. She stared at the faucet for a minute and then began to lap.
  • She comes up to my office on the second floor of our house and meows at the window disturbing my prayers. I open the window and she stares at it for a minute before jumping on the window sill to look out.

I have come to the conclusion that Anya has only two brain cells and after they both fire, they need to be recharged.

Anya’s brain working:

  • One brain cell, “I want outside”. The other brain cell, “I will meow until it is open.”  Her two brains cells now need recharging. I open the door and it takes a minute for her first brain cell to be fully charged and say, “The door is open.” And then the second brain cell thinks, “I am going outside.”
  • This happens with water, her food, getting petted, and the window up in my office on the second floor of my house.
  • This also explains why she can sleep for days on end. It takes two brain cells for her to think of sleeping and finding a place to sleep. But it takes three brain cells to wake up, realize she is hungry, and start meowing. Anya can sleep for days, even weeks, and her brain can’t figure out how to wake up. (Yes, I did test this once when Barbara and I left for three weeks to visit the Philippines.)

Last week I was downstairs in the kitchen, and Anya was nowhere to be found. I looked outside a window with a view of our driveway. At that instant, I saw what looked like a white rag fall from the roof to the concrete driveway.

Outside, I saw Anya walking in circles on the driveway. I investigated the matter and found that someone took the screen out from the window in my office. After hours of her two brain cells firing and recharging; Anya climbed onto the porch roof, explored over to the garage roof, where she jumped onto a metal window awning.

Now is the time to pray for Anya and me!

I was concerned about how Barbara, my wife, would respond to her cat falling off the roof.  I opened the door and called Anya’s name. Her brain had used two cells falling off the roof and I think her body walked in circles on auto-pilot until the two cells recharged.

When I called, she walked over to the door, stood there for a minute and then walked in.

Whew, she is okay and acting normally. Probably down to ‘8 lives’ though.

Barbara doesn’t need to know any of the above.


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