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Then I considered all that my hands had done and the toil I had expended in doing it, and behold, all was vanity and a striving after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun (Ecclesiastes 2:11, ESV).
My primary focus of research and consideration for the past few years has been finding our calling. The search for meaning doesn’t go far without running across the book The Five Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware.
Probably the best book (The Call) that I have read on calling was written by Os Guinness. These two books are antonyms: one explains understanding purpose from the Bible (Os), and the other follows a “find yourself” philosophy (Bronnie). While I enjoyed Os’s study, I was fascinated by Bronnie’s source material, which comes from her work with the terminally ill and what they regret about their lives.
After reading both books — though opposites — I think they almost say the same thing and reach similar conclusions. I’m focusing on Bronnie’s writings in this blog post, and her five top regrets for those dying are…
- Living true to yourself. Don’t allow others to choose your course. Don’t bend to societal obligations and lose your dream.
- Working too hard. Overworking steals family milestones and intimate relationships.
- Expressing your feelings. Don’t repress true thoughts and feelings just to keep the peace, as it can lead to repressive control by others in your life.
- Staying in touch with friends. Bronnie writes that she witnessed many close to death make desperate searches to reconnect with long-lost friends.
- Letting yourself be happier. Don’t allow addiction to the same old thing or habits of comfort to keep us from new experiences. Also, don’t wait for ideal circumstances for happiness — choose lightness and joy in daily routines.
Now read carefully one of Guinness’s conclusions from his book and, am I wrong, or do you see the parallels too?
But who are we? And what is our destiny? Calling insists that the answer lies in God’s knowledge of what he has created us to be and where he is calling us to go. Our gifts and destiny do not lie expressly in our parents’ wishes, our boss’s plans, our peer group’s pressures, our generation’s prospects, or our society’s demands. Rather, we each need to know our own unique design, which is God’s design for us.
Os Guinness wrings out the accuracy of Bronnie Ware’s conclusions and then adds God’s loving care to our path. Ware’s book sets in place “us” as the sole definer of our satisfaction in life, a burden too heavy for anyone.
When someone asks me how to find joy, purpose, and calling, I tell them to ask God.
And for those of us realizing that time on earth — because of ignorance or neglect — has run its course, with the finish line just a few meters ahead, Guinness adds this comment in his book…
Nothing that is worth doing can be achieved in our lifetime; therefore we must be saved by hope. Nothing which is true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history; therefore we must be saved by faith. Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; therefore we are saved by love.
Amen!